Dog's Rule! Cat's Are Fools!
-If I like it, it's mine
-If it's in my mouth, it's mine!
-If I can take it from you, it's mine!
-If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way!
-If I'm chewing something, all the pieces are mine!
-If it looks just like mine, it's mine!
-If I saw it first, it's mine!
-If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine!
Cat's Rule! Dog's Drool!
-When humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of your tail in their food when they're not looking!
-Never drink from your own water bowl, drink from the toilet or the human's water glass - especially if they just put it down!
-If your food bowl is empty, wait until the human is asleep. Jump on them and be extra friendly with purring and head-butting!
-Be excited to see your human come home, but don't forgive them immediately for leaving you alone.
-If you catch a live something outside, but don't want to eat it and only want to play with it for a bit - be considerate and don't waste it. Carry it to the human's house and leave it somewhere for them to find it - preferably by the front door or on their pillow!
-Remember, Cats don't beg outright for food as the lower forms of life such as Dogs do, but a Cat can:
(1) Jump onto the lap of the nearest human and purr loudly;
(2) Lie down in the doorway between rooms and throw their best "Direct Stare";
(3) Twine around the human's legs and meow plaintively;
(4) Wait until the human is sitting and knead their leg while purring to remind them you're still interested!
(5) Sleep anywhere you want, leave fur wherever you want;
(6) Deposit fur balls as the mood strikes - especially on the good carpet and bed linens
(7) Sleep all day and get Kitty Krazies all night!